Fighting the Shadow Zone
Lesson #1: Expect people to lie to you, and be ok with it.
Everyone rationalizes things. It seems to be our default decision process. If your friends and loved ones seem to be lieing about their reasons for things, it may simply mean that they are human. It’s quite possible that they don’t even realize it.
Rather than fighting each one of the thousand-headed beast of renewable arguments, its seems best to either let the decision be or to bring discussion to humanity’s faulty decision creation modes.
Lesson #2: “Because I feel like it” is often the correct answer.
It’s often the truth, and making up reasons for things could sometimes be counter-productive, especially when you’re not sure those reasons exist. Intuitions can be incredibly good, especially in disciplines of tight feedback in areas that one has practice in. This is discussed thoroughly in the book How We Decide.